Cheap Witches' Hammer (DVD) (Otakar Vávra) Price

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Customer Reviews of Witches' Hammer

Fast forward review
What do sex sleaze fans want out of a inquisition movie? Nekkid young ladies of course, preferably on the rack with a hooded priest waving a feather pen around and screaming for a confession. When you see a Czech black and white movie made in 1969, you don't don't expect much. But, the descriptions say "nudity" and "array of tortures", so what the heck, it's cheap.

The first few minutes came as quite a shock. Sure, there's a hooded "narrator" dude with bad teeth to spoil the affair, but what he's interrupting is quite unbelievable - a whole room full of young iron curtain actresses in the buff all taking baths, including close ups and full frontals! Wow, so you think, hey, maybe this is the real deal.

Nope. Several minutes later the FFR's finger is sore from leaning on the fast-forward button flashing by endless scenes of foppily dressed dudes sitting around tables with candles on them drinking lots of wine. Not even any service wenches. The only good thing about the movie is that it's in Czech and the subtitles are mostly hidden by wide screen format, which means you don't have to follow whatever plot there is.

We got the opening scene, one brief bodice rip straw floor cell rape scene that goes nowhere and one look for the signs of the devil on a naked girl later on, but it isn't much. A couple of mild abuse scenes and a couple of burnings, but they're with women who really look the part and an old dude. One star for the opening scene less one star demotion for being a tease and being in black and white.

Fast forward review
Now, what sex sleaze fans look for out of a witch movie is some nubile maidens falsely accused of making the two-backed beast with . . . well, the beast, and losing their clothes in a dungeon while a priest with a feather pen howls for a confession. The first thing you'll notice about this flick is that it's old (1969), furren (Czech) and black and white, so you figure there's no way this is juicy. But the descriptions say "nudity" and "array of medieval tortures", so your faithful FFR reviewer takes one for the team, and whips out the credit card. That's about the only whipping to be done here.

Right away you think you've scored, a whole roomfull of nekid young ladies taking baths, with full frontals! Yes, there's this annoying narrator with bad teeth who pops up every now and then, but it seems this thing may be the real deal! Nope, my fast forward finger wore out flashing past endless scenes of foppily-dressed dudes drinking wine before hitting one brief nude scene (a priest checking out a babe for signs of the devil), and then it's over. Some mild torture scenes, but with really old women that look like real witches, and a dude.

Zero stars, despite the opening nude scenes (demotion for black and white). About the only good thing here is that the audio is in Czech and the subtitles are mostly blocked out in wide screen mode so you don't have to pay any attention to the plot, if there is one.