Cheap Vampire Call Girls / Battle of the Colossal Women (DVD) (Everette Hartsoe) Price

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Customer Reviews of Vampire Call Girls / Battle of the Colossal Women

Vampire Call Girls is a silly film. It is not surprising that it is an excuse to show topless women, but it makes little sense otherwise.

[...] No consistency.

The nude scenes are just that, with little or no action.

Battle of the Colossal Women makes even less sense.[...]

Both the battle and love scene between the two women are super staged and awkward. Both woman look like they want to look like they are trying to do something without actually touching; almost as if they are afraid of exceeding their contract.

For simple visual pleasure, Vampires is the better piece, but both are worse than much of what you can find on cable and TV.

Misleading
The editorial reads "Two features for one low price" Obviously I have a different concept of the word 'feature' as the film "Battle of the Colossal Women" is about 35mins long. Hardly a 'feature'.

And what of the film itself? It's about two women who are increased in size by some scientific experiment, who then push and shove each other for a while (hardly a 'battle'), and then carress each other a little.

Vampire Call Girls was a dud too, but was in fact long enough to be both a 'feature' and an exercise in boredom.

A true masterpiece!
Not since watching Stanley Kubrick's "A Clockwork Orange" have I ever been so moved. Everett Hartsoe has truely raised the benchmark with his over-the-top directing style and actors/actresses that express the depths of humanity of which we only see at our most dire hours. This film did not need high budgets or expensive equipment to illuminate its spirit, Everett Hartsoe in all of his wisdom insisted on using clothes from the actors/actresses closets so that they would feel as though they were acting as themselves. His method of selecting actors/actresses to play the characters reflects the depths of his unparalelled talent. "I went to the local strip clubs and got me some dancers ta act in ma' movie." To the layperson this would not seem a sound idea but to a well-read intellectual like myself it shows an insight overlooked by most directors. The strip clubs, like the African Jungle in Joseph Conrad's "Heart of Darkness" represent an area in which the rest of civilization cannot observe. In places such as these the most evil emotions can take root without society's guidance. Hartsoe reasoned that a career in a strip club would give a young girl the heart of a vampire. As previously stated, Hartsoe needed no state of the art equipment to translate his vision into reality. A simple home-video camera was used to shoot the film. "We din' nee' no 'spensive camra ta make tha' movie" The camera's black and white function and its color filters were more than sufficient to create a subliminally horrifying feel for the film. The most powerful aspect of the movie is Everett Hartsoe's portrayal of the main character."If I'm payin' for the ... movie I'm the one thas doin' the ...!" The film is a rollercaster ride of suspense as the cruelty of the vampire call girls make their profession seemingly harmless and their victims innocent. The birthday party scene displays the essence of males in their brotherhood. They smoke joints in a very unique way; they hold them a full inch away from their lips and only pretend to inhale. ... In conclusion, Vampire Call Girls is a Revolutionary movie and will be remembered as a classic for years to come.