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| CATEGORY: | DVD |
| DIRECTOR: | Dan Clark (VII) |
| THEATRICAL RELEASE DATE: | 01 January, 1999 |
| MANUFACTURER: | Artisan Entertainment |
| MPAA RATING: | R (Restricted) |
| FEATURES: | Color, Dolby |
| TYPE: | Horror |
| MEDIA: | DVD |
| # OF MEDIA: | 1 |
| UPC: | 012236120117 |
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Customer Reviews of The Item
Another straight to DVD nightmare Well well, The Item. What can be said that hasn't already? Plenty! The acting in thjis movie is what makes it a thrill to watch. It is so horrible you have to wonder how the director could take any of this seriously. Rita the art student has got to spew some of the most gawd-awful lines ever recorded on camera. They are so fake and so far out in left field that youll wonder if she thinks she's in another movie.
The star of course is Alex and here's a real winner. He talks waaaaay to much and gets annoying really fast. He is also sporting possibly the worst goatee in the history of facial hair. He kills fatty, kisses a ninja transvestite before blowing his head off and is finally killed himself by another criminal as they both go for the glock.
What is the 'Item' you ask? Well it's hard to decribe. It appears to be a three foot creature that looks like male genitalia. It's eyeballs were removed, so it has large sewn on patches of skin. He can get into your head and knows your fears and frightens you to the point of madness with the voice from a bad cartton. It obviously has a thing for third rate Asian actresses, because it makes love to her in the final scene.
I would recommend this movie to drug addicts. If you believe your life is over and meaningless, fear not. You have a future as a movie director or actor.
A Horrible Movie For People Without A Life
I'm writing this review to warn people about this movie. Whatever you do, DO NOT BUY IT, DO NOT RENT IT, AND IF SOMEONE GAVE IT TO YOU DO NOT TAKE IT!!
With faulty reviews and setup, it makes you think the movie was going to be a real thriller, but after about a couple of minutes, you'll find yourself saying "oh my god I wished I didn't get this movie". I got to say, it is a major waste of time and if you don't have a life or you can't tell the difference between what a good movie and a bad movie is, than go ahead and see it. I thought this movie was a college class project, that's how horrible it was, it's a joke! A lot of lame bloody scenes, a major lot of cussing, some nasty offensive moments, combined with some dumb trigger crazy peeps and a worm-like creature COMBINED with bad filming, bad directing, bad plots, and bad everything is what this movie is all about. I stopped about 3/4 way through, trying to see if the movie ever gets better. In the end I wasted time and I couldn't get a refund. I rented it, don't worry!!
FUNNYEST HORROR FLICK EVER!
My god! Ninja Transvestites! HOW CAN YOU GO WRONG!? The movie looks horrible as a horror but as a comedy it is hillarious! Thinka bout it...when they ran through out the movie it looked like they were on a little trolly or something...they were gliding darn it! Watch it, hate it, laugh at it...that is what it deserves to have done. Watch it one time...and it is like a virus...you wanna spread it around and tell others to see how stupid it is...I gave it 4 stars just because I laughed my arse off the whole movie!