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Customer Reviews of The Bare Wench Project

A sexy parody of the Blair Witch Project? No, not really
Yes, I should have known better. I stumbled across this film on a movie channel late on night and for some reason thought this might be an interesting parody of "The Blair Witch Project." Four sorority sisters head into the mountains to do a class video project on the legendary Bare Wench. There is Nikki Fritz as Nikki, Julie K. Smith as Chloe, Lorissa McComas as Lori, and Antonia Dorian as Toni. Fritz, star of "A Ferret in My Bathwater" (how ever did I miss that one?) is the lead character here, with more brains than the rest of the group put together, a fact which is proven repeatedly. As their faithful idiot companion there is Lenny Juliano as Lunk, who gets ample opportunity to leer at four pairs of bare breasts but not much else. Julie Strain makes an appearance as the title character, who inspires lust in those who dare to climb her mountain, at the film's less than thrilling climax.

There are two reasons for seeing this film and neither one of them really pans out. There are lots of scenes of the girls running around topless and rubbing up against each other, but nothing particularly memorable. The parody elements consist of finding sex toys out in the woods, an obvious twist on the famous camera shot of Heather, and the game of hopscotch. Most of the film is shot with a hand held camera, in the spirit of the original, which at one point when everyone is running screaming through the woods actually made me physicall ill. I stuck around for the end to see how lame the final punch line was going to be and discovered that the funniest and best part of the movie are the end credits, which have outtakes of the bonfire scene. It seems that no power on earth can get Antonia Dorian to say the line "I used a piece of paper." Watch in amazement as she gets the line wrong time after time, and even when she in the ballpark, she immediately messes up the next line. Finally you hear director Jim Wynroski, having given her the line several times in clipped tones, laugh and say, "I'm just going to put all of this at the end of the film. It's going to be two-and-a-half hours long." Thankfully, this is not the case.

FYI: Apparently there are sequels to this 1999 film: "Bare Wench Project 2: Scared Topless" (which is, I guess, the same as "Book of Babes: Bare Wench 2) from 2001 and the upcoming "Bare Wench Project 3: Nymphs of Mystery Mountain." Consider this fair warning.

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cute girls- bad movie
If you are looking for a few girls to flash their tops for a few seconds and then the camera focusing on this really fat ugly comedic character, this may be the movie for you. The camera is hardly ever on the girls more than a few seconds and the strip scene is ruined by it beinf shot in the dark and through a huge roaring fire. Do not waste your time with this movie. There are much better ones of this genre out there.

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Too little action, too much pointless talking.
Bare Wench is another softcore parody of the Blair Witch project (I think there's about two dozen of those things out there). It has 5 very attractive women (which includes Nikki Fritz, Julie Smith, and Julie Strain), and one dorky guy whose only purpose is to provide comic relief.

Okay, so I'm thinking "Cool. Great looking women, having softcore lesbian sex with each other very 10 minutes or so. This should be real good."

Unfortunately, the producers blew it. There is nothing in this video that actually qualifies as a sex scene. There's a couple of false starts, but the majority of the action is just the women posing for the camera. I guess once the producers had spent their money on the women, and spent more getting them to remove their clothes, they didn't have any money left to get them to actually do anything. And I guess they also used up all their alloted nudity time too early, because towards the end of the video, there is a huge amount of pointless dialogue that is obviously being used for no other reason than to pad out the run time. "You're a liar! No you are! You go into the cave! No you go! I think we should go home! Well, I don't!" This goes on and on and on forever.

There's way better stuff than this.