Cheap Spliced (DVD) (Gavin Wilding) Price

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Customer Reviews of Spliced

Hmmm.... it needs something, oh yes we need a singer from a boy band, how about 98 degrees?

Now we need a monster let's take Freddy Kruger's glove but make them clear plastic claws instead. Now we give it a whole 'Ring' feel. Oh and wait, wait... we need a twist ending like in Scream. Boy this is great.

OK we need a beautiful girl to star in it. Let's get that gorgeous, voluptious blonde who came in for an audition the other day.... She's not available? Who do we got? You're kidding that flat chested brunette who looks like Olive Oil on a bad hair day? Ok but don't pay her as much.

Lights, Camera....Action!

Better than average low budet horror
"Spliced" looks, feels, and smells like yet another self-referential low budget horror film chasing the heels of the immensely popular "Scream" trilogy. There is nothing inherently wrong about this sort of imitation; many good movies routinely rehash successful projects. Occasionally, one of these rip-offs works to great effect. In the case of this movie, some things work while others fail. Filmed in Canada on a budget smaller than my monthly car payment, "Spliced" boasts one big name (Ron Silver), a boy band star (Drew Lachey), and little in the way of gore or effective scares. C'est la vie, I guess, since "Spliced" went directly to jail (read: the video store) without passing go. What I couldn't figure out as I watched the movie was why the producers and director decided to rip-off Craven's "Scream" so many years after that film came out. I thought the market for these sorts of pictures faded years ago.

"Spliced" introduces us to Mary (Liane Balaban), a willowy young cutie with a lot of psychological problems. She loves horror films so much that she watches them whenever she can get her hands on them. Unfortunately, Mary gets a charge out of viewing increasingly extreme movies, but there's a catch. Every time she watches a new horror film, Mary sleepwalks that very night. Her parents are completely fed up with her antics to the point that her father tells his daughter that she must give up her horror film hobby. Who can blame the guy? He doesn't want to see his offspring plowed under a car in the middle of the night or hurt in any equally grotesque way. Mary has other ideas. When she hears about an extreme film called "The Wisher" opening up at the local theater, she feels she must attend. Ignoring her parents' warnings, our young heroine sneaks out with friends and goes to the screening. Bad mistake. At some point in the film, Mary becomes affected with violent nausea and must flee from the theater. She finds out later that her father died in a car crash on the way to the theater to stop her from watching the movie. Overcome with a deep sense of guilt about the whole affair, Mary sinks further into a self-loathing so overpowering that neither her friends nor the school shrink Campbell (Ron Silver) can assuage it.

More problems ensue when Mary learns anything she wishes for becomes reality, just like in the movie "The Wisher." When Mary makes an offhand comment about not wanting to go to school one day, the building burns down. Even worse, she tells one friend to "just shut up," which translates into said friend having her tongue removed in a particularly vicious manner several minutes later. Mary's horror over these incidents is extreme, especially since she has little idea why any of these events are occurring. She starts to worry that a guy she likes named Brad (Drew Lachey) might have something to do with the sinister wish fulfillment. At the same time, Mary learns a lot of secrets about the movie "The Wisher," information that further heightens her state of alarm. Apparently, "The Wisher" grossed so much money and became so popular with audiences because the makers of the picture inserted subliminal messages into certain scenes. Mary learns about all of this through research on the Internet, through a projectionist friend she knows, and from a geeky guy who has a thing for her. Predictably, it turns out the primary villain from "The Wisher" has materialized in town, and is the one fulfilling Mary's wishes. Obviously, "Spliced" wouldn't be complete without the requisite final showdown between the young heroine and the masked villain from the film. It's a twist and turn extravaganza that's sure not to surprise you too much.

Most of the elements of "Spliced" work well for a low budget film. The acting is acceptable, the script is clichéd but bearable, and the pacing is average. Liane Balaban charms as the lovably wacky Mary, a girl caught up in events way beyond her control. Her histrionics are often hilarious to watch. Ron Silver, conversely, looks like he is slumming through his role as Campbell, the school shrink. I'm sure his role didn't take much preparation, but he could have at least looked the part instead of gliding around in grungy clothes. As for Drew Lachey, well, don't go there. I guess he does a creditable job in the "clueless guy who might be the murderer but is looking for love" role, but he doesn't go beyond the character to make him memorable. I think the film would have worked better if the makers punched up the violence and gore scenes. The kills aren't too bad in "Spliced," but they could have been better. A low budget picture that rips off another film should do something to stand out. As it is, "Spliced" is a moderately entertaining film that won't make anyone's list of the best low budget horror films of the past few years.

The DVD contains several extras, including a commentary track, several truncated filmographies, and trailers for films like "Crazy Little Thing," "Winter Break," and "Killing Emmett Young." Perhaps the best way to describe "Spliced" should focus on its idea of subliminal messages in a horror film. Does this make "Spliced" a message film? Yeah, considering Campbell's comments to Mary at the end of the film explaining how themes and violence in horror movies can cause certain individuals to indulge in brutal acts. It's surprising to hear this in a movie since Hollywood spends millions of dollars a year trying to tell us that movies and television are relatively harmless pursuits. You might want to watch "Spliced" if you can rent it for a small sum.

I'd like to splice the director
Well for those of us who love to make fun of uninspired schlock, look no further than this hunk of celluloid. It is an absolutely appauling film that insults your intelligence, and will make you temporarily insane. At any rate this film will bring to the point of wanting to break your VCR, but you realize it's only a movie so you take the tape out and burn it. So if you don't have any of you lampooning buds with you just start a little camp fire and use this in the best way possible, it makes a great camp fire. Pretty colors to. Anyway, just don't see this thing that the directors somehow brought themselves to call it a movie, when that is an insult to even the term movie. STOP LOW BUDGET HACK JOBS AND THEIR "MOVIES."