Cheap Melon Crazy (Video) (Gallagher) Price

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Customer Reviews of Melon Crazy

Anyhoo, things started off fairly well; Gallagher came on stage and did his usual bit of showing off all the watermelon-themed props and tchochkes he's collected and "written off as business expenses", including a giant inflatable melon and a radio-controlled helium-filled melon blimp. After the show 'n' tell he went into a twenty-minute-long spiel on the usual stand-up comedian fodder. You know, stuff like observations on the differences between men and women, gettin' stoned on weed, goofy product ideas he'd like to market, the silly political strings he'd pull if he were in charge, and the weirder aspects of society and life in general. One of Gallagher's more notable observations during this stretch was his assertion that stupid people make up approximately 25% of the U.S. population. Which is figure I find to be a bit conservative by the way. And I ought to know-- I used to work the retail trade after all.

Anyhoo, Gallagher's piece wasn't half-bad. There were a few smile-cracking jokes here and there, along with a few fairly awful groaners. He didn't pull out anything that got me yukkin' it up like a mental patient off his meds, but at least I was mildly entertained. But then things began to unravel too-tsweet after he trucked in guest prop-comic Bill Kirchenbauer-- best known as that PE teacher from "Growing Pains" and its "Just the Ten of Us" spinoff before he lost even more of his hair and gained fifty pounds-- for a twenty-minute-long lame-fest. BK's act was so forgettable that I couldn't describe it to you if I tried... because I'd forgotten it (see, I TOLD you). Well, actually didn't forget it so much as I'd completely repressed my memories of it. Which is a VERY good thing, by the way.

Anyhoo, Gallagher eventually returns to do his hackneyed show-ending Sledge-O-Matic bit, pulverizing just about every kind of produce imaginable and royally p!$$!ng off all those folks livin' in Ethiopia. Needless to say, there are more than a few shots of the crowd in their plastic tarps and ponchos trying not to get too badly splattered by the gastronomic fusillade as this act unfolds. Fortunately (sorta), Gallagher adds a little twist to this final piece as he rolls out a giant easel and paints a map of the United States in various splattery foodstuffs. After making the Rocky Mountains outta rocky road ice cream, the Canadian border outta Cool Whip, and having Washington DC represented by a lemon, the Wizard of Odd finished it all off with his signature Sledge-O-Matic watermelon. Great, ya got people starving in some third world hellhole, and this yutz is wastin' food for mediocre comedic effect!

Anyhoo... hey, I just realized that I began this and the last three paragraphs with the word "anyhoo"! Man, talk about pedantic! Ya know, I've always wondered how "anyhow" got corrupted into "anyhoo". Anybody out there know how this all came about? If you do, please give me the skinny, willya? Thanks lots. Now on to the matter at hand. if you get the hankerin' to watch this after reading my glowing review (heh), I strongly recommend you only watch it until Gallagher introduces Bill Kirchenbauer. After that point it's all downhill...

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