Cheap Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (DVD) (Lee Demarbre) Price

Related Products

Customer Reviews of Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Don't expect too much
At first glance you have to admit that the concept of this movie is hilarious. Jesus Christ? Fighting vampires? With mexican wrestler El Santos? Defending lesbians? It really does sound great. However, the key to enjoying this movie is not expecting too much from it. It was cheesy on purpose and they pulled it off pretty well. Once you get past a somewhat slow beginning (and a somewhat poor audio and video quality)and into the fighting scenes that's when the real fun begins. The park fighting scene and especially the junkyard fighting scene are both horrible. In that it's so horrible it's funny kind of way. The acting isn't very good but once again as long as you don't take it seriously it only adds to the humor of the movie.

Also make sure to watch this movie with a group of people. As with any bad movie it's always more fun to watch it with a group of friends. Heckling and and even laughing is always better with others. This movie never takes itself seriously so, don't take it seriously. Laugh at the bad acting, laugh at the errors and laugh at the bad fight scenes. Just laugh, you'll enjoy it. Don't pick it apart, unless you intend to well... hmm... what was it? Oh yeah, laugh about it. If there's one thing that'll stay in your head it's the song "Everbody gets laid tonight". God, that song is catchy. Pun intended.

---

Canuck film with gallows humour and buckets of sloppy gore
First, let's get one thing out of the way: This is not a b-movie, it's a z-grade movie. We're talking about a self-financed picture starring a bunch of students at Ottawa's Carleton University made on a reported budget of $100, 000. That said, viewers weaned on safe and sound Hollywood fare of the silver screen will want to stay far, far away. People as myself who love trash cinema however will likely get a kick out of this, although this film is by no means a masterpiece of bad cinema.

A strange plague has overridden the city of Ottawa. Daylight-walking vampires have invaded the city, slaying many and causing a shortage of lesbians (don't ask...). Two priests then call to the chosen one, Jesus H himself, to restore order to the once peaceful Canadian capital. Jesus, using his magic powers of Kung-Fu, does the best he can but soon finds himself way outnumbered against the hordes of the undead. Down in the dumps, Jesus calls Mexican wrestler El Santos to the rescue. Together, Jesus Christ and El Santos form a Tag Team to rid the city of the undead.

The first thing one notices right away is how much fun everyone seems to be having making this movie. The film is filled with awkward acting and dialogue but the exuberance and joy of the people involved more than make up for that. It really looks like a film made by a bunch of friends with too much time on their hands. Most of the actors in this are either punk rockers (the people on Jesus' side) or Goths (the vampires). One of the priests who calls for Jesus' help has a red-couloured Mohawk and a leather jacket filled with spikes just to give you an idea. This film is somewhat of a musical but not the whole way through; it switches styles every 20 minutes or so. As the actors in this film are all punks and Goths you can imagine just what kind of music plays during the musical parts, mostly hardcore old-school punk.

The problem that I have with J.C. vampire hunter is its length. Although only 87 minutes long, it still seems to drag on forever. It is simply too cheaply produced and ridiculous to sustain interest for that amount of time. The first 20 minutes or so had me laughing uncontrollably but then things started to grow wearisome. Once El Santos appears toward the third tier of the movie things get interesting again but it seems a little too late at that point. Really, this film would have worked better as a 30-minute short if say, the first 15 minutes were combined with the final 15 and then I would have awarded this five stars. Still, if you love cheap B-Movies you owe it to yourself to watch this. Just to give you an idea how crazy this movie is imagine this scene: El Santos and Jesus enter a bar and order a couple of beers on tap. As the two of them soon realize the bar is overrun with Vamps, Jesus blesses his beer and proceeds to spit it in the ghouls' faces, who then burn to death. Yes folks, crazy stuff. Recommended as a party movie, for this is guaranteed to make everyone laugh out loud at least a dozen times throughout.

---

Depends on what you want it for
I really wish Amazon had a way to give two ratings to the same item. The one-star rating above is for the movie. It's a bad movie, and not "bad-in-a-good-way" bad, just bad. It's dull. Jesus loses his long hair and robes about twenty mintes into the film, and from then on it's like watching a bad Ben Stiller clone in some really bad fight scenes.

Regardless of the movie's quality, this DVD gets Five Full Stars (*****) as a collectible. It's worth the money just to be able to grab this out of your DVD collection and show it to people, or hear their reactions when they see it on your shelf. Buy it for the title, buy it for the case, buy it for the cover art -- just don't buy it for the film.