Cheap Blood Surf (DVD) (James D.R. Hickox) Price

Related Products

Customer Reviews of Blood Surf

Better than Crocodile !
Blood surfing, the new extreme sport of this millennium. Get some cheesy, overacted surfer dudes and throw them in some shark infested, chum laden water and let them go. Sounds like the makings for a fun action/adventure/horror movie. But Trimark apparently wasn't convinced; they wanted more, so the director gave them more.

After just barely getting out of the water without becoming lunch, the "brooding" surfer dives back in to save the beautiful camera lady from the increasingly wild group of sharks. Narrowly dodging both tooth and fin the crew all make it to the surface alive, and after witnessing what seems to be a brutal inter water grudge match between warring jaws clans, they decide to call it a day, and head inland...........Where they are attacked by a group of Colombian terrorist, Rambo's friend stealing paramilitary types, captured, brought back to their boat and threatened with rape and torture.

You can almost hear the pitch guy, sweating dripping from his brow. The executives didn't like the shark idea, and it's up to him and him alone to save the movie. "Well it's not only the sharks, you see these sleazy Colombian coke smugglers types show up and pull them all onto a boat." He scans the room, they all appear a little happier, but not much, then it hits him. "Where they are all attacked by the biggest Salt Water Crocodile the world has ever seen." Smiles all around, the movie is saved.

Blood Surf's "story" is pulled in more directions than the Backstreet Boys thrown into a Junior High Girl's Gym Locker Room. We've got hot shark dodging action, Terrorist attacks, wild jungle traps, a surfer's love affair with a beautiful, yet underage local girl. Oh yea, and the Cheesiest Crocodile the world of Giant Crocodile Cinema has ever seen. The underwater scenes alone are enough to make anybody roll on the floor laughing. What looks like a rubber crocodile on a string, bluescreened into these stock footage underwater shots, shooting through the ocean with a menacing wiggle.

I couldn't say that I would recommend this movie to most people, but I must stress that for anybody with a love of the cheesy, this film will qualify as a must. Never before have I born witness to such audacity, ripping off entire scenes from other (and better) films with a reckless abandon that one wonders if the movie is trying to crawl into out and out parody. Remember the scene in Jaws where Quint slips down the wet floor of the sinking boat and into the shark's mouth, Its here. Remember the scene in Crocodile where the croc flips the kid with the died red hair up into the air and it comes back down landing in its mouth. That one's here to. Shots at Rambo, Moby Dick, Point Break, and even a little Indiana Jones all come together to form this stew of low budget, American exploitation cinema.

Food, Folks and fun, Roger Corman would be proud.

---

Blood Surf
Two thrill-seeking surfers, a tv producer and his beautiful girlfriend come to an island to make a video of the surfers cutting their feet and then surfing with sharks, which they have called BloodSurfing. Unfortunately, they run into problems, including modern-day pirates with guns, a disturbed man, crazy ideas from the annoying producer and a 30-foot Saltwater Crocodile trying to eat them.

Shakespeare? Definetly not. But fun either way. I like these animal flicks that Hollywood stopped making after a while. Oh sure they made JAWS and ARACHNOPHOBIA, but that's it in terms of good ones. This film is fricking hilarious. Sure, it's stupid, the actors are pretty bad, the script is ridiculous, the dialouge, for the most part, sounds like babies wrote it and the FX suck. But yet, it's really funny and that makes it all the worth while.

If you liked this film to any degree, I also recommend CROCODILE, CUT, THE BEAST, THE CREATURE and all three of the SHARK ATTACK films.

---

Atrocious in the extreme
"Blood Surf" contributes yet another tired, cliché ridden entry in the old monsters run amuck genre first created in the mid 1970s by "Jaws." A couple of years ago a movie came out called "Deep Blue Sea," which if memory serves me well didn't do spectacular box office but did resuscitate this particular genre (as did "Jurassic Park," but that's another story). In the intervening years studios bombarded video store patrons with an unceasing flow of low budget dreck involving sharks, octopi, alligators, crocodiles, eels, and whatever other big, mankind ravaging beasts a filmmaker could come up with. And guess what? Another shark type movie, called "Open Water," will soon appear on a movie screen near you. If it's a success, or even if it isn't, we should probably expect even more movies like "Blood Surf" to appear in the near future. For the low budget, trash cinema fan, this is great news. There's nothing like howling at the ridiculous antics unfolding in car wrecks like "Shark Attack 3" and "Blood Surf." Believe it or not, this movie is worth watching despite its exasperating clichés and endless banalities. It's so funny that to not watch it is to miss out on something special.

"Blood Surf" isn't so much a film title as it is a state of mind. According to the opening sequences of the picture, a couple of surfers named Bog (Dax Miller) and Jeremy (Joel West) plan on flying into an out of the way island to blood surf. This entails surfing amidst a whole mess of dangerous sharks. One small mistake and...well, you get the idea. Along for the ride are photographer Cecily (Katie Fischer) and her smarmy boyfriend Zack (Matt Borlenghi). Right from the start we discover Jeremy is the most annoying human being on the planet. He's one of those mouthy surfer yucks who talks like Sean Penn's character from "Fast Times At Ridgemont High" without any of the charm associated with that actor's groundbreaking role. The plane lands safely, unfortunately, and the four quickly search about for a boat that will take them to a nearby cove where it is rumored that many hungry sharks swim about close to shore. With yawning predictability, our heroes meet up with the requisite grizzled tar, Dirks (Duncan Regehr), and his pretty young squeeze. The good captain of course tries to talk our team out of blood surfing, but eventually acquiesces when his girlfriend dances erotically for the surfers. Yeah, I know. Anyway, with directions firmly in hand, the quartet heads out with a bunch of natives and promptly runs into big problems.

Those darn sharks! How dare they intrude on our loveable characters! Ha ha, how wrong you are! The problem isn't the sharks but a huge salt water crocodile! What a coup the filmmakers pulled on us with this sudden shift in plot. I never saw this one coming. Neither do our protagonists as they stand helplessly by as the croc destroys the boat and dispatches the crew. Now our heroes can't get off the island, which is bad because that croc is fast! Salvation seems to lie close at hand when a bunch of mercenaries or pirates, whatever they are, stumble over our hapless characters and take them into custody. Once on the ship, only an amazing leap out of the water-the croc hangs in the air longer than Michael Jordan-saves the lead characters from the clutches of the nasty mercenaries/pirates. Then Dirks shows up (yawn again) and goes slightly overboard in his quest to destroy the crocodile. It turns out that the captain once piloted a ferry that fell to the savagery of the animal in question, and ever since that unfortunate incident he's been seeking revenge against the beast. I won't spoil the rest of it-you should know how it ends anyway-but the obligatory bloody encounters with the croc occur with frightening regularity. Who will live and who won't? Who cares?

"Blood Surf" is amazingly underwhelming in its implications. Try this on for size: by the time the movie ended, I felt more genuine emotion for the crocodile than I did for the characters. Here's this old, exceptionally enormous creature, a veritable wonder of nature, destroyed by a surfer and a lady with cosmetic enhancements. What better way to show how the forces of modern superficiality have triumphed over the natural world? I've got a tip for the characters in the movie: DON'T GO TO AN ISLAND WHERE A GIANT CROC LIVES! Why is it that humans feel it incumbent to destroy everything in their path no matter where they are? Get outta there, you idiots, and don't come back! Besides, it's not as though any of these characters endear themselves to the audience. When the seedy Zack perishes after running out on his friends, the survivors witnessing the tragedy utter lines so callous, so disrespectful of life in general, that I almost turned the whole thing off right there despite not liking the deceased character.

The only reason to watch "Blood Surf" is to laugh at the ridiculousness of the whole thing. A bit of gore pops up toward the end, not badly done either, but it's far too late to save this mess by the time that happens. Katie Fischer is nice to look at, I guess, but the filmmakers fall down on the job here too since we never see much of her. Extras include a cheesy surf soundtrack, boring bonus footage, trailers for "Blood Surf," "Cut," and "Attraction," and storyboards you can watch during certain chapters of the movie. The last feature was a first for me, but it's not impressive. When you watch "Blood Surf," make sure to take off your watch and remove all timepieces from the room. Otherwise, you'll hurt your neck by constantly looking at them.