Cheap Beware Children at Play (Unrated) (Video) Price

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Customer Reviews of Beware Children at Play (Unrated)

Only for "Tromans" looking to complete a collection
The film is introduced by Llyod Kaufman as having a trailer deemed so controversial in it's depiction of children killing adults that it was booed at the Cannes Film Festival and half the audience walked out. That sounds like a bad joke I heard before. What does it take to offend a French person?...Or how many lightbulbs does it take to screw a French person? <
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>The opening of the film is a father/son camping trip gone wrong. The father slowly dies after getting stuck in a bear trap and he tells his son to eat him spawning a cannibalistic cult of little children. And everything after this is screwier. The father was a professor that taught Anglo-Saxon poetry, or as the dimwit town sheriff affectionately refers to as "Angel Accent poetry", and this leads his son to believe that he, Glen Randell, is now "Grendel" from the poem "Beowulf". There are a variety of other bizarre explanations for the children's behavior in the convoluted plot involving the Sacrifice of Abraham's child to God amongst other things. Basically, the children disappear from the town, start a cult, hunt adults, and eat them. Sorry if this is confusing folks, but I watched the film and still don't get it. This is the most I could try to understand without falling asleep. <
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>Unfortunately, as interesting as the premise sounds, the film is quite boring. It tried to be smart and I give it credit for that much. The SFX are good is some parts and bad in others. There are some scenes that try to make the mark, but fall short. One involves the young boy cutting open his father and eating his heart. At least I think that is what it was. The editing was strange and I am pretty sure it was not a real boy doing this for legal reasons. The stomach resembled an empty flap and a hand went in and pulled out a round, brown lump. The only scene that caught my attention for about 3 minutes was the slaughter scene at the end. And for the parents who secretly fantasize about killing their own kids, well here you have it. <
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>There is a strange rape scene thrown in for no apparent reason. It seemed completely unnecessary and pointless. The child leader rapes a mom in front of other children including her own. That falls under the It's Just Wrong Category. And yet they somehow managed to make that boring as well. <
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>The sound quality was okay, but there was goofy 80's boombox beat music at the oddest times. The film quality was decent, but there are problems with the editing and continuity issues. One scene in particular is shot at night and when the camera sings back to an actor talking, it is suddenly broad daylight! <
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>Favorite Quote: A Bible salesman describing the Holy Bible he loves so much, "It is the best damn book ever! You don't need any god damn luck. You just say it is the word of God and their pocket book spreads it's cheeks and the long green pops out like puss from a pimple." <
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>DVD Extras: The usual Troma fare: T.I.T. (Troma Intelligence Test), Still Gallery, Multiple Trailers, Commentary, and Bios. One note though, I could not read the menu. The font is illegible, so I just clicked on random colorful blobs I saw and hoped for the best. <
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>Bottom Line: Only for "Tromans" looking to complete a collection. <
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>Rating: 5/10 <
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>Molly Celaschi

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Watch it for entertainment purposes only
This movie has it's moments, and drags on at times, but I have yet to see a funnier ending than this. <
>Don't expect a hollywood blockbuster here, it's just a good movie (A Troma movie at least).

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It's TROMA.
That's all you need to know. It's not meant to be frightening or creepy or "good" in terms of cinematic classics. All these people that are rating it 1 because it has bad special effects and isn't scary, they just don't get it. At all. Lloyd Kaufman is a nutball. He's a cinematic genius. They make their movies to be absolutely ridiculous, and for some reason, alot of these people just do NOT seem to get it. I find it hilarious that they're so completely oblivious to the fact that it's not serious in the least. How could anyone think that a movie about children being brainwashed into cannibalizing people could possibly be a serious movie? If you want to see a movie that was meant to try to scare you, go watch The Ring. If you actually have a sense of humor and find bathroom humor, crappy sfx and dubbed-in fart noises laughable, watch Troma.