Cheap Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe (DVD) (Jesse Ventura, Sven-Ole Thorsen) (Damian Lee) Price
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Unfortunately, the biography portion of the DVD neglects to illuminate Ventura's earlier career, when he ably presided over a much smaller jurisdiction than Abraxas. As a pro wrestler, Ventura typically clocked in for work in a pink boa, wraparound shades, and kicky short-shorts--a much livelier uniform than that issued to guardians of the universe. --Stephan Magcosta
| ACTORS: | Jesse Ventura, Sven-Ole Thorsen |
| CATEGORY: | DVD |
| DIRECTOR: | Damian Lee |
| THEATRICAL RELEASE DATE: | 01 January, 1990 |
| MANUFACTURER: | Simitar Video |
| MPAA RATING: | R (Restricted) |
| FEATURES: | Color, AC-3 |
| TYPE: | Feature Film-action/Adventure |
| MEDIA: | DVD |
| # OF MEDIA: | 1 |
| UPC: | 082551757527 |
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Customer Reviews of Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe
SVEN-OLE THORSON AND JESSE VENTURA: BEST DUO OF ALL TIME? "Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe" is the best thing ever filmed in northern Ontario. A "thrilling" chase opens this unintentional comedic masterwork, which features many "all-time" moments, such as:
MOST PATHETIC CAMEO OF ALL TIME: I don't know how they got Jim Belushi to drive out to Thornbury to be in Abraxas, but he appears in the worst scene in the film. Somebody must have done him one hell of a favour, because there's no way he did this for money - since the producers clearly had none.
MOST INAPPROPRIATE SCORE OF ALL TIME: Lame saxophone and soft jazz should never be combined with fights and chases - let alone the sketchy scene with a half-naked Ventura and a young boy where Abraxas' "tale of two men" bit comes off as disturbing, and thus funny.
LEAST PLOT EXPLANATION OF ALL TIME: If you can tell me what "the colmater" is (beyond the fact that it's the kid) I'd really like to know. Also, the exact nature of the "anti-life equation" (and the equally sinister "anti-life universe")is open to debate.
All of these diverse elements combine to form some serious low-budget hilarity. Ventura and Thorson discussing the anti-life equation is right up there with Monty Python's Dead Parrot bit as far as I'm concerned. If you don't laugh at this movie you are either soulless or retarded.
"Bring me the colmater!"
A B R A X A S
Well, the film is strange. First of all the name ABRAXAS itself is the name of the highest GOD for the Gnostics of the 2nd and 3rd century A.D. Abraxas is supposed to be the GOD that is above ALL and that governs and spreads JUSTICE in the UNIVERSE. Nothing is higher than ABRAXAS. (Carl Jung and Hermann Hesse have mentioned this GOD in their books).
ABRAXAS, who is a "policeman" in this film, represents the ABSOLUTE AUTHORITY, and ABSOLUTE JUSTICE and BRINGER OF ORDER in the Universe. ABRAXAS can not even mix sexually with other races, otherwise he would not be able to perform justice in the universe. The function of ABRAXAS is too high to become too low.
The film is quite simple, quasi-primitive, very funny, with not good color, but it has, in ITS ESSENCE, a universal truth.
This film is not for everybody. To understand this film, you'd rather have a good background on basic christian gnosticism. Then, the film becomes a very funny expresion of a very interesting religious conception of the universe and of subtle philosophical truths on ethical absolutism.
Try to rent the film. I bought it because I love that funny GOD of the ancient Gnostics. I am a fan of the GOD ABRAXAS. The movie is cool, but not as cool as the philosophical tractates on Abraxas from the beginning of the Christian Era.
Another source for ABRAXAS is that enigmatic writting of Basilides of Alexandria called SEPTEM SERMONES AD MORTUOS, 1916, transcribed by Carl Jung.
Jesse "The Space Cop" Ventura
As a Minnesotan, I take a strange pride that my state elected Jesse Ventura, former pro wrestler, and grade Z movie actor as Governor. Of, course, Jesse has been in several films, most notably "Predator" with Arnold Schwarzenegger (possible future governor of California...hmmm...is there a trend here?)
In Abraxas: Guardian of the Universe, Jesse is an intergalactic space cop of some variety who tries to track down the evil Secundus, played by Sven-Ole Thorsen who has had a space child with knowledge of an important equation that can destroy the universe.
This movie is cheesy and never too dark (even though the director was trying to make it dark) yet it still manages to be entertaining in a MST3K sort of manner. Many great scenes abound, including watching Secundus eat breakfast (he orders the entire menu), watching Jesse's wrist radio thing interrupt romance, and my personal favorite: watching school principal Jim Belushi attempt to look serious in an embarrassingly badly written counseling session.
This is a great little cheap movie to watch when you just want to relax and have some fun with friends. Sure! You betcha!